The Power of Saying No: Setting Boundaries for a Better Year
If you’re like me—a recovering people pleaser—then the thought of saying no might make you a little uncomfortable. Or a lot uncomfortable. I used to say yes to just about everything: extra work projects, volunteering for school events, last-minute favors. I convinced myself it was easier to just agree than to disappoint someone or (gasp!) appear unhelpful.
But here’s the kicker: every time I said yes to something that didn’t align with my priorities, I was essentially saying no to myself. No to my well-being. No to my time. No to the things that mattered most to me.
It took years to unlearn the belief that saying no was selfish. (And, honestly, I still don’t get it right every time.) But in reality, saying no is one of the most generous things you can do—for yourself and for others. It protects your energy, preserves your mental health, and ensures you’re showing up fully for the things (and people) that matter most.
Why Saying No Is So Hard
Let’s face it: society doesn’t make it easy, especially for women. Many of us are conditioned to be helpers, nurturers, and caretakers. Saying no feels like we’re rejecting someone, shirking responsibility, or worse, being “difficult.”
But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges. They connect us to a version of ourselves that is healthier, happier, and more aligned with our values. And setting those boundaries starts with getting comfortable saying no.
The Benefits of Saying No
When you start to embrace the power of no, here’s what happens:
You reclaim your time: Every yes takes time away from something else. Saying no allows you to focus on what truly matters.
You protect your energy: No more pouring from an empty cup. Setting boundaries helps you conserve energy for things that light you up.
You reduce resentment: Saying yes when you really want to say no often leads to frustration and burnout. Saying no helps you stay true to yourself.
You set an example: When you honor your boundaries, you inspire others to do the same.
A Personal Story: My “Aha” Moment with Boundaries
For me, the turning point came during a particularly chaotic holiday season. Between my usual work and home responsibilities, seasonal shopping, baking, cooking, and hosting, I somehow thought it was a good idea to agree to organize a holiday event for my son’s school. By the end of it, I was physically drained and emotionally spent. I wasn’t sleeping well, caught a cold, and couldn’t even enjoy Christmas Day like I usually did. I realized my illness and exhaustion weren’t just a result of the busy season. They were self-inflicted. I had said yes to everything without stopping to ask myself if I could or even wanted to.
That was when I decided to start practicing the art of saying no. The next time a similar request came up, I paused. Instead of responding immediately, I gave myself time to think it through. (“Let me think about it” and “I’ll get back to you” became new, comfortable catchphrases.) Did I have the time? The energy? The desire? If the answer was no, I politely declined. And guess what? The world didn’t end. The dinner still happened. The cookies still got made—just not by me. And my son’s school? They found another parent who was not only willing but excited to take the reins.
Tips for Saying No with Confidence
If saying no feels daunting, start small. Here are a few ways to ease into it:
Practice polite refusals: “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m unable to commit to that right now.”
Delay your response: Buy yourself time with phrases like, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”
Offer alternatives: “I can’t help with that, but have you considered asking [name]?”
Own your no: You don’t have to over-explain. A simple, “No, thank you,” is enough.
Pro Tip: If saying no feels impossible, consider asking for help instead. Overextended? See if a friend, coworker, or family member can pitch in. Delegating doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re honoring your limits and making space for what matters.
Empower Yourself in 2024
Saying no isn’t about being unkind—it’s about being intentional. It’s about choosing where your time and energy go so you can live a life that feels aligned and fulfilling.
As you step into the new year, I challenge you to practice saying no at least once a week. Start small, and notice how it feels to honor your boundaries. Over time, you’ll find that each no creates space for more meaningful yeses.
Ready to prioritize what matters most? My Slow-Living Goal-Setting System is packed with tools to help you create boundaries, set goals, and design a life you love. Check it out here.
